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Tham gia ngày: 23-11-2008
I've been reading through this forums since a long time now. From time to time I felt like posting a reply, but then, I thought better not to, and usually, within a day or two, someone else said exactly or nearly exactly what I wanted to say.
I can't say what made me change my mind and try to come up with something to 'share' with you. Maybe it was that shade of sadness and frustration I read in Istvan's post. The weird thing is that the first think I thought, after the reading of his post was: 'don't stop dreaming!', but he actually never said he wanted to stop doing it.
He was complaining about the differences he could see between what he dreams and what is there in the real world and as he said so, he actually came up with a judgement... yet he did not, as he was simply choosing his path, he was simply sharing with us his way of thinking and describing the direction he decided to follow... it is so difficult to 'share' when every word we can come up with may take a different shadow, depending on who is reading.
I don't feel I'm enlightened, far from that actually, and what may be easy for someone, like being able not to judge, it may be difficult for others and also useless as they may need that tool to make up their mind and find their own way.
I'm trying to follow what I've understood of our Master's teachings, and I'm trying to develop my understanding through the means he left in our hands. He said he gave us everything with level 3 and the 100% opening of Chakras and I believe he wasn't neither lying, nor teasing us. He brought us up till level 20 'cause most of us were all afraid of their own shadows and stubborn like people with petrified brains.
In my personal interpretation of what I call reality, we all are rotten dolls wrapped up in beautiful, shiny words full of high spirituality. I thought it was something wrong, but then, the Master told us it's ok, we're all humans, we can't love everybody, we can help everybody, thanks to UE, and our soul can love everybody, but not our body. So when it comes to be all together, all united in the large UE family, to me it doesn't mean we have to gather all together to be physically near, but that we have to use UE, through which we can be actually all equal, all together, all focused on the same goal and all following the same path.
Depending on where we live, and who is living around us, it may be easy to share what we learned from the Master, or very difficult. One may feel to be all alone fighting an endless fight against everything and everyone, to protect what he believes in, but actually, most of the time we're fighting against ourselves, against our fears and our inability to let our lives to be directed by UE. At least this is what I've experienced. Loneliness, was something our Master had to suffer as he was fully aware of what he was doing, and fully aware of who he was dealing with, and how long the journey for his students would have ended up to be. When it comes to my life, loneliness is not the condition needed to let me find out which is my mission, but a sort of place in time where I can sit down, and look at myself thoroughly, and acknowledge all that I see. And what I ask the Master is to let me know what my mission is, or better, what the mission of my soul is, only when knowing it won't let me risk to jeopardise it all. But then again: that's me, so I really don't know if this is sharing, and helping other people, or if this is simply outing, and then I hope I didn't hurt anybody with my words, and I also apologise for my English.